walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
