they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
