he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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