Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
