The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
