I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
