Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
