You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize