I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
