Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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