So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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