Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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