I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
