I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
