Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
