youre lurking in front of me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
