We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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