Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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