I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
