But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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