I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
