So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There r osticjed everywhere
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
