if only i could text you this smell
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
