my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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