Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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