her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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