On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
