it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
