He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
