dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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