U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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