I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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