If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
