His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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