Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
