areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
