i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize