if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
