just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
