I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Drunk walkin through police station. America
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
