yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
