big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We got so high we made milksteak
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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