A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
