Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
