i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
only you would photoshop your dick
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
