do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize