Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
