I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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