conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The Olympian is in my bed
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