Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
