have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
