you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
nutella sex= disaster
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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