I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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