Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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