but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize