why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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