He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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