She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
