Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
