i permit you to call me
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize