I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
