I need to stop coming to work sober
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
