My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Im part way to drunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
