At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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