ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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