i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize