If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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