how can u be prego again
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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