party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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