I just made out with a guy for $7.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
