You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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