Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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