But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
