he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
