Im at strip club and am horny
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
