there was a trapeze. enough said
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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