I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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