My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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