just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
