are you still at the devil's house?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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