as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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